Sunday morning, in the S-bend, you could see him arrive,
He was nine inches long and two inches wide,
Kind of broad in the center, narrow in the tip,
Bobbing in the bowl like a brown battleship,
Big Poo.
CHORUS
Big Poo...oo.
Big Bad Poo.
Big Poo...
He emerged from the bowels of Lady Jane,
With a fair bit of grunting' and a whole lot of pain.
He squeezed through her cheeks with fire and ash,
And into the bowl with one hell of a splash.
Big Poo.
CHORUS
Well, he started his life the day before,
As a nice, juicy beefsteak that was medium raw.
Alfalfa and vegetables hung him long,
And two hot cross buns made him awfully strong.
Big Poo.
CHORUS
Six glasses of wine lubricated his wake,
With some added propulsion from a chocolate cake,
And the big, lumpy midriff that bumped in the bowl,
Was the seed from a lichee she'd swallowed whole.
Big Poo.
CHORUS
It took fourteen flushes to send him away,
But the skid-marks he left clung on ten days.
This wasn't the end of his journey south,
He collected eight tampons and one dead mouse.
Big Poo.
CHORUS
This was Just the beginning of something' more,
There were curried prawns buried deep in his core,
They brewed that gas they run engines from,
And this floating log became an atom bomb!
Big Poo.
CHORUS
Well, he snuck through a valve at the treatment shed,
Where he lurked in the chemicals 'till they ate his head,
Then with a rush of gas and an almighty bang,
The whole plant went up, and the fat lady sang.
Big Poo.
CHORUS
Well, there wasn't a whole lot left of the site,
It was leveled to the ground by brown dynamite,
So they inscripted a plaque, and upon it was writ:
"At the bottom of this sewer, lies a big, mean shit...
...Big Poo."
I am trying to listen to Daniel O'Donnel here and am howling with laughter at the sme time, how am i ever going to get my sewing done iT'S NO GOOD, I'M GONNA HAVE TO TURN YOU LOT OFF _________________ IF YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT OF DATE YOU MAY AS WELL DO IT RIGHT
A man was walking one night
Down a lane without a light
Thinking that he heard a sound
The man then turned around
Someone jumped him suddenly
And assaulted him violently
Badly beaten and then robbed
He lay in the road and sobbed
Injured for many hours he lay
Many people had passed his way
Only one stopped, not to assist
To take his watch off his wrist
Hours later came a Samaritan
A social worker name of Stan
He was greatly shocked to see
Deeds committed by humanity
“Whoever hit you on the head
Really needs some help,” he said _________________ country singer and dj for hire just email :)
OK - here's a song Norm wrote about a drink brewed by the Dickens brewery and inspired by sometihng found on Dillingers website some time ago.....I guess you could call it a poem........
I met a young girl at a truck stop near Maine,
She was real pretty but she looked in pain,
So I took her along to my local Honky Tonk bar.
I asked the barkeep for his advice,
"I wanna help this girl cos she sure seems nice,
How do I put a big smile on her pretty face"
and he said....
"She looks like she needs some Dickens Cider,
the best we've got from here to Carolina,
once she's tried it out she'll never want beer again.
I'll get you a bottle, it's not very big,
and you take her on back to your fancy rig,
then you can spend all night trying out that Dickens Cider"
CHORUS:
When she's got Dickens Cider you'll see her eyes light up
Her cheeks will glow she'll moan and groan and squeal
A little Dickens Cider will make her whole damn day
But she'll never let you back behind the wheel"
Well I bought her that drink and we went to my truck
She climbed on in and I fancied my luck
I said "Have a little taste and watch of your dreams came true"
Well she had Dickens Cider stood up and bent down
and it sure helped her in losing that frown
Now I'm two days late and my truck ain't turned a wheel
etc.etc.etc
@SettlersCreek 2006 _________________ Neil
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'
Sheriff, i refuse to add my poetry to this corner, it's turned into a lads smut corner _________________ IF YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT OF DATE YOU MAY AS WELL DO IT RIGHT
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